Infidelity is a betrayal of trust that can cause lasting damage to your relationship. People who are cheated on feel hurt, angry, and betrayed by their unfaithful partners. Both partners need to work together to build trust after infidelity, which takes time and effort, but with support from family members, friends, or therapists/counselors – it can be done!
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There are several ways to build trust after infidelity:
Define Your Terms
You must decide what you’re moving on from before you can go on. Define the problem by writing down specific examples of how your partner has hurt you. Be honest with yourself if they’ve cheated on you once, what’s stopping them from doing it again? What about their actions indicates that they don’t value your relationship? If it helps, think about the night they told you about their affair; did they seem remorseful or defensive? Were there any warning signs that might have tipped off another person (like a sudden shift in behavior)?
Once this is done, look at all the events and behaviors that led up to this moment – were there warning signs early on? How did those red flags affect how he or she treated other aspects of your relationship (for example, did he/she stop listening to your needs?) What would make things feel like “home” for both again?
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Disconnect From the Unfaithful Person in a Timely
To build trust after infidelity, it is crucial to promptly disconnect from the unfaithful person. Don’t be tempted to contact the other person or ask them to explain their actions, even if they want to talk about it and want you to hear them out. Even if it may seem like a good idea, you mustn’t use this as an opportunity for your spouse or partner to make excuses or try to validate their behavior by making up some elaborate story. It will only help you move on from this experience if you know more details than what’s already been revealed. The best thing for both parties is not to have any further communication until after things have calmed down and emotions have cooled off—no texting, emailing, calling, or writing letters!
Try to Fix Things Slowly, Take Time to Heal
To build trust after infidelity, taking things slowly and steadily is necessary.
You may be ready to get back together with the person who betrayed you. But no matter how much you love them, take your time with things. You could be eager to move forward with your relationship and start planning for the future, but if you do this too soon after your partner cheats on you, it will only lead to more heartache down the road.
Embrace Your Fear of Getting Hurt, But don’t let it Dictate Your Behavior
After an affair, it’s common to feel scared of getting hurt again. After all, you’ve been through a devastating experience that left your heart and trust in pieces. But it’s important to understand that feeling scared is normal and expected that fear shouldn’t prevent you from making choices that will lead to healing and happiness.
It can be scary when someone has hurt us deeply, but we must remember that we are strong people who have survived one of the worst things imaginable. We deserve so much more than being kept on a leash because of someone else’s actions; we deserve to live our lives fully with no restrictions placed on us because someone else made a mistake (or many).
Don’t Blame Yourself for Your Partner’s Cheating
As a person cheated on, it’s easy to feel that you played some role in your partner’s behavior. While this might feel like a logical conclusion, it’s important to consider that anyone can behave selfishly at any time, even the people closest to us.
We can only control our actions and reactions, so rather than blaming yourself for your partner’s infidelity, think about what led up to this situation and how you will prevent it from happening again.
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Consider Therapy, Both Individually and as a Couple
Individual therapy is a good idea if you feel your partner isn’t supportive of your quest to build trust after infidelity. Individual counseling can help you understand cheating, improve communication skills, and understand your partner’s perspective. Couples therapy can also benefit both partners as they work together to heal and overcome the betrayal.
Rebuild Intimacy Slowly
Rebuilding intimacy is about more than just sex. It also means being open and honest about your good or bad feelings. You may feel as if you’re betraying your partner by talking about the affair, but it’s important to do so to move forward.
Instead of rushing into sex or other intimate activities, take it slow and focus to build trust after infidelity. This might mean taking an extended break from any physical contact with each other until you’ve regained some sense of security within yourself and in the relationship. Furthermore, you can rebuild trust by going on date nights with your partner and avoiding things that trigger negative feelings.
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Forgive, But Don’t Forget
In order to build trust after infidelity and move forward, forgiveness is a must. This can be a difficult and emotional journey, but it is important to realize that forgiveness does not mean forgetting. If your partner has shown remorse for their actions and made an effort to change their behavior, then it might be time for you to forgive them. However, do not let the cheater off the hook completely; they still need to account for what they did wrong to make amends with you.
Remember: Forgiving someone doesn’t mean letting them off easy or accepting further mistreatment from them – it means accepting that despite their mistakes (and perhaps severe ones), they can still make good choices going forward. In this sense, forgiving is more like setting boundaries than letting someone get away with something terrible; by forgiving them. Instead of holding onto anger or resentment over past events, you can focus on ensuring they don’t happen again.
A Therapist or Counselor May Help Build Trust After Infidelity, But Moving Forward is Possible.
To build trust after infidelity is a tough journey that takes time. The process doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible to move forward and enjoy the relationship again.
When rebuilding trust, remember that it’s not just you who needs to work on rebuilding the relationship – your partner should also be in the same frame of mind. No one can make another person feel safe or secure if they don’t want to do so themselves.
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Conclusion
You can build trust after infidelity with the right support and hard work. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen if you’re willing to put in the effort.